Other things may change us, but we start and end with family

Now that I am done with my MCAT, unemployed, and practicing patience with the rest of my life, I have made it a priority to spend as much time as possible with the people I love.

I am so thankful to have such amazing relationships with my friends and family. I really don't know what I would do without all of their love! Their love and support was very evident during my MCAT studies... not a day went by without a note of encouragement, a visit to make me laugh, or a reminder of how wonderful life truly is. What a true blessing to be surrounded by love each day! Thanks to each of you for being so fabulous. <3

In the past few weeks, I have had the opportunity to catch up with a lot of people in my life. I've learned that I truly love to listen to people- and sometimes listening is much better than finding something to say. I learned so much about my family history from my grandma & grandpa after spending a week with them at the cabin- and I was truly amazed at how much I have in common with my great-great-grandparents. My grandmother says that her grandparents influenced her more than anyone else while she was growing up- so she wrote a lot about them & still had the stories for me to read. My great-great grandfather (aka as Gaga) was a ear, nose & throat doctor. The stories she wrote about him surprised me- and his outlook on medicine seems very similar to mine. She wrote of him providing a lot of free care to nuns and other patients- as he strongly believed in providing care for everyone, not just for those who could afford to pay for his services. Gaga seemed to be very strong-willed and educated, and his other interests included reading, animals and the environment (sound like anyone else?) I was thrilled to learn about my great-great-grandmother as well... she was a very compassionate, self-motivated, and loving person. It was such a blessing to be able to spend some quality time with G&G.

I enjoyed watching Jennifer get married this past weekend- she was such a beautiful bride. Always enjoyable to see two wonderful people get married, and of course, it's a great reason for the whole family to get together. I couldn't ask for better friends and family to brighten my life- they always know how to make me smile & help me see the beauty in life.

Chatting with Dad

Jen's Wedding!

My beautiful cousins (missing Ali & Britt!)

Mr. Reve ! <3

Spending time with grams, gramps, and Mya!

being lazy with mom :-D

loving on my puppy dog

great friends at daniels park

lunch date with ty!

After some quality time with unbelievably wonderful people, I am off to West Virginia! I will be driving across the country- solo - and I am actually very excited about it. I have never gone on a road trip alone before & I'm looking forward to spending some time alone on the road. Rosetta Stone Spanish Lessons, lots of music, & audio books will be along for the ride to keep my company- and the best part? I won't have anyone bugging me about how often I stop to snap pictures along the way (after all, I am my mother's daughter...)

I got a flat tire today- right before my trip- so I'm hopeful that I won't have any other car issues (but really, it's not my fault I didn't see the nail..) My hope is to leave early tomorrow morning to give myself enough time to enjoy the countryside, visit family, and arrive safe & sound at Gesundheit Institute on Sunday evening. Living with 20 perfect strangers in rural West Virginia? sounds like a grand adventure that I wouldn't dream of missing out on.

Love & Light,
TMV

2 Timothy 1:7

"For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 

I have been entirely wrapped up in studying for the MCAT for the past few weeks, and I feel like there is a lot I haven't been dealing with. All of the pressure to excel in life is enough to drive me crazy sometimes, and I have found myself at a loss of how to cope with it all lately. There has been a lot running through my mind, and here's what it all seems to boil down to: 

1. I am terrified of failing. at anything. 
2. After my MCAT, I think I will finally realize I am not in school anymore. I have plenty on my plate before I leave for the Peace Corps, but I think I will soon be experiencing a serious lack of purpose. Not knowing how my life will unfold can be unsettling at times, but I'm trying not to freak out too much.
3. F*** CANCER. I am sick and freaking tired of cancer. My love for all the children at camp and children's hospital colorado is so deeply rooted in me, I feel like it is impossible to let go of things sometimes. It's never easy to lose anyone, but I have watched the lives of two perfectly beautiful children slip away to their battle against cancer this summer. It feels so unfair, I want to cry. and yell. and stomp my feet. then cry some more. Rest in peace RK & JH.  
4. Balance & perspective. My lack of preparation for the MCAT has left me cramming, and I don't think I've had enough of a balance in my life. It's hard to care much about a standardized test when other things in life seem much more important. I justify my studying by telling myself it's an obstacle I need to face before I can help the kids I love the most. Only a few more days, and I'm hoping to give more, play outside more, and rest more.  

I stumbled upon this bible verse today, and I thought it was perfect to apply to everything I am going through. I am going to take some time to rest (rather than study) right now & clear my head for the next few days ahead. With a little clarity, confidence, and a heart full of love, I'm sure I will be able to endure any potential hardships & rejoice in life's abundant blessings, too. 

Love & Light, 

TMV

I promise

• To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
• To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person I meet.
• To make all my friends feel that there is something in them.
• To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.
• To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
• To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.
• To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
• To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature I meet a smile.
• To give so much time to the improvement of myself that I have no time to criticize others.
• To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

I think everyone should read/try to follow the optimist creed. Thanks to Miss MAR for bringing this into my life. <3

Love & Light,
TMV

Stroll down memory lane

I have so much on my mind sometimes, I don't know how to focus. Best way to deal with that? Get out of the house and avoid studying for a while. I couldn't stare at Kaplan testing strategies any longer, so I grabbed my bike and went for a ride around good ole' Fort Collins.

I can't even begin to describe how many things I love about this town. My mother once told me that if I'm having a bad day, I should try to find all the beauty in the little things in life. She taught me to take my attention off my own struggles, worries, and concerns in order to find peace with the world around me again. I love you Mom- where would I be without you?

While on my ride around town, I thought a lot about how difficult it is to leave behind the comfort of a familiar place. I know my favorite baristas in town, places to get away for a moment of solitude, where to find beautiful gardens to gaze at, how to access miles of bike trails, the best time of day to go for a run, etc. I love that I can wave at strangers, stop to smell the flowers, pause to reflect on my life, and smile looking back at the memories I have made in this town.

Perfection & Beauty. Right beneath my nose!

I love that I finally had a summer to spend in Fort Collins. I don't know where all the days went, but somehow the peaceful summer town is bustling again with college students moving back up for the fall semester. I realized this is the first fall I will not be going back to school- and what an incredibly odd feeling it really is. My life is finally taking a turn away from what I always knew was going to happen. I knew I would finish high school and go to college. Although I am a little fearful of the unknown, it is an incredibly liberating feeling knowing that the pages in front of me are blank. Who knows what I will find to fill the pages with?

A lot of my other thoughts today were about wonder and relaxation. I have a hard time relaxing, and I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm always setting higher goals for myself. Although it seems silly to keep pushing myself, I am thankful for all the steps I have taken to get myself to where I am today. I hope that I never lose my curiosity and wonder about the world around me... I wonder if my education helped or inhibited me from doing that. Either way, I hope to always search for meaning and purpose in everything I do, while learning to give myself a break too.

How can you not be curious about this?

A beautiful ride through the oval at CSU.

A quote about relaxation, from one of my favorite books:

"When in doubt, relax. Be cool. Don't worry, be happy. Breathe in slowly, breathe out slowly. Think sweet thoughts. Think of your blessings. Hang loose. Melt in the presence of friends. Pray, sing, and make weird noises. Laugh for long periods of time. Hug for a long time. Get and give massages. Give up guilt, hate, duty, sacrifice, boredom, loneliness, fear, judgment, and formality. Plop down on a big pillow. Say nice things to yourself and to others."

Breathe in positivity, breathe out negativity. All is well in the world, you just have to find the time to look at it, focus on it, and let the goodness manifest in you.

Love & Light,
TMV

The Countdown Begins..

Well, the countdown has already begun. 31 days until my MCAT, 53 days until the Patch Adams Medical Elective, and 146 days until I leave for the Peace Corps. Although that may sound like a lot of time to some of you, it is beginning to feel like a huge time crunch to me!

As some of you may know, I am a bit OCD at times, and I often try to do too many things at once. I am currently trying to find a way to strike a balance between finding time to cross things off my to do list, visiting loved ones, studying for my test, and making enough money to allow me to do all the things I want to do. No one is kidding when they say being a grown up is hard!

I will be moving away from Fort Collins this month and I didn't realize how difficult it will actually be to leave this beautiful town. It's always a weird feeling to close a chapter in life -my time at CSU is something I will always cherish. Although, I must excitedly admit that I am so lucky to have much, much more in front of me.

Sometimes I feel as though I am wasting away studying. (I do truly hope some of it sinks in...) During my studies today, I found a rather hilarious piece of writing that I thought I might share with you.

I feel like a lot of my reading for the MCAT looks like that anyway... ! Thanks to good ole Kaplan, they taught me how to pick out the main points of the writing sample. Makes me stop to think about what's really important in my own life, and what is just filling up space.

Love & Light,
TMV